Coping with COVID-Seven Months In and Counting
It’s now mid-September and we are seven months into the coronavirus pandemic. As I write this, the virus infection rate in most states is increasing, not decreasing. In some states “surging” might be a more appropriate word to describe the increased rates of infection. This is not where I expected the US to be at this point. Rather, I expected, or at least hoped, that by mid-summer we would have “flattened the curve” and been heading down toward lower and lower rates of infection. I suspect I’m not the only person who thought that way. The picture we are faced with is tragically disappointing, to say the least.
Many people are suffering at the hand of the pandemic, and not just physically. Rates of depression and anxiety are also surging. Many people with substance use issues are falling back into unhealthy behavior in an attempt to cope. High unemployment rates and financial stress, difficulty seeing friends and family, choosing between safety and necessity; these are all taking their toll on our mood. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, which makes this all the more difficult to bear. If we only knew that it would all be over in one month, or six months, we would find it easier to cope.
Two buzzwords I’ve been hearing lately that get to the heart of the emotional struggle are “caution fatigue” and “COVID-coaster.” If you are like me, you are tired of being cautious and starting to rationalize how it will be okay to take risks you formerly thought were too dangerous; social gatherings (without PPE!) being a common compromise. Riding the COVID-coaster, on the other hand, sounds like mood swings; moving up and down from feeling okay to depressed. We can fight the reality of the COVID crisis and trudge through it for a while but eventually, we remember the long road ahead and feel daunted by its chronicity.
This raises a big issue for me both personally and professionally. How can we cope with what is shaping up to be a long term problem? I’m reminded of The Serenity Prayer, written by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; the COURAGE to change the things I can; and the WISDOM to know the difference.
Easier said than done, I agree! “Serenity” and “acceptance” call for a certain level of emotional strength and maturity. Facing a long term problem, like the COVID crisis is a lot like facing a chronic illness, and that can be a useful comparison when it comes to coping. If we cannot change the problem, or get rid of it, we have to change ourselves. One way to do that is to develop coping skills to handle the situation. Here are a few ideas to consider when it comes to adding tools to your coping “toolbox.”
Easy does it. The world has changed and maybe our expectations of ourselves, others, and institutions needs to change with it, at least for a while.
Focus on “today.” Mood problems get worse when we spend too much time regretting the past and worrying about the future. Of course, we should learn from the past and plan for the future, but we have to live in the present. And it’s a good coping tool to spend most of our time their mentally.
Remember who you have control over. For reasons I do not need to go into, it is too easy right now to focus on what other people are doing or not doing. This preoccupation causes us stress but is completely unproductive. The only person we can control is our self, (and sometimes that is questionable!) Another way to put this would be, “Mind your own business!”
We are living in interesting times with interesting challenges. These challenges are contributing to added stress, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. With a little work, we can add tools to our coping skills toolbox and improve our mood, improve our outlook, and be more available to support and assist our loved ones.
